Responding to an overweight person (in the Tamil community and perhaps wider)

Totally based on my experience, and it's my opinion! (I wrote this after an incident earlier this week - it was not planned for sharing, but I thought I should as it may shed light on a commonly faced problem as a Tamil overweight person! I'm sure this is not restricted to the Tamil community, but I've seen this often in Tamil gatherings/family get-togethers on multiple occasions). Feel free to share this, and I also hope you can converse and educate those close to you who are not mindful of this. Yours truly, Sangu xx

How to respond to meeting someone overweight after some time, when you have the urge/worry/care to comment/encourage them to lose weight: (disclaimer: based on my rational thinking only!)

• If they are under 18 - and for some reason, you genuinely worry, tell their parents in private... if they are immediate family members, e.g. your brother/sister - tell them one to one, not in public and let it not be the first thing you say when you meet them.
  

• Suppose they are 18 and over - unless they have some medical condition where they can't think for themselves, they will have gained enough information via education and "social media" for health and fitness. So they know their business, and you don't need to comment!

I know the physical and mental health issues of being overweight - e.g. from trying to clothes shop, the consciousness of eating in front of people, facing the anxiety of meeting friends and family after a long time - as they are bound to comment on your weight gain (I even skipped visiting family/family friends for this very reason), to even feeling unworthy of having a partner.

So if I'm still overweight, it's my problem, and only I can make the change, and I can only do it if I do it for myself! Your so-called damn words never have and will never encourage or help me!

So stop making comments like my weight it's affecting your life.

I am ensuring my life of healthy eating and exercise, and I've seen firsthand that a healthier lifestyle has improved my mental health too. It is a lifelong habitual change and growth for me. I am also facing up to self-discipline, motivation, and consistency, which I am conquering!

It's annoying because there is so much in life to share and catch up and yet instead of looking at people's growth in other aspects, appreciating all the amazing things that makeup that one person, and being happy to be part of their life, the (some!) idiots pass on their insecurities via commenting on one's body in the form of care only because they want the satisfaction of feeling superior and like they were able to have a say without thinking whether or not they actually helped.

As humans, we all make mistakes, and it's best to learn from them. So if you are someone who makes remarks out of so-called care about anyone's physical appearance, please stop. Trust me, out of love for you, to avoid conflict, and often to move on from the very topic, they will just digest those comments without sharing how much you've ruined their day.

Yours truly,

Sangu

PS: I am only sharing my view on this based on my knowledge and experience. As always, I will continue to mould my thoughts and grow with new knowledge and experience. Share with me your thoughts on this.